3 pracitcal ways of building self-confidence
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. (Dale Carnegie )
Building self-confidence is an ambitious goal, whether consciously or unconsciously for many. I often hear explanatory phrases such as “I can’t do that”, “this is too hard for me” or “I’m afraid”, which all have the same tone, saying: “I do not have enough confidence in me .”
This is a shame, because these sentences are not true, instead you just block yourself to tap your real potential. I know it only too well, as I used to deny myself the most beautiful things, such as studying in New Zealand or applying for a scholarship.
Today I know that hindering myself is nonsense and it is just a matter of self-confidence to claim the things I want. If the general self-confidence is very low, then you must first get a few success stories. And how building such self-confidence practically is part of the following three practical tips.
1. Build self-confidence through a reward system
A reward system is very important because it improves your own motivation. There should be appropriate according to the task. A new TV when you mow the lawn is a bit exaggerated, a candy bar when you have finished building your house is something of an understatement .
To do this, simply look at how your intrinsic (coming from your inner) motivation is and complement it with a corresponding reward so that your motivation is so much increased you can not wait to start .
It is also helpful to set bigger goals in several small targets and to reward yourself accordingly. This makes the next goal in mind not so far.
Example: You have a big project of 3 months. This project has a very high importance to you. Accordingly, you should also worthy reward for success. An extended weekend vacation in a region or city of your choice would be a good target here. The small targets along the way would be convenient if they are within around 5-10 days and if they reward yourself with something relaxing, such as a movie night, a massage or an evening just for you.
The more motivation you get through your reward system, the more self-confidence you will build, because you accomplish things successfully .
2. Building self-confidence by bringing things to an end and keeping a daily journal
Bring things to an end is critical, because only complete projects and activities give you the feeling of having achieved something. And the feeling to accomplish something builds self-confidence.
So rather try to bring two things to the end than almost get 4 things done. Rather work on one issue at the time and finish it and then make the next activity. Sometimes there can be resistance, often there comes the idea to do another activity when the current one is a little more difficult or it just does not go ahead. This happens mostly until the other activity makes no fun anymore as well.
Then you stand in front of two activities that you have started and that are now somewhat more complicated. Instead, you could have been able to finish one task to an end and start the other one with the momentum and confidence of the finished task. Try it out, let me tell you, it can work wonders to bring things to an end immediately.
For example, initially I only wrote blog posts as long as I had lust to write. The articles were often semi-finished or nearly finished then, but not finished, and then lay around in WordPress. Mostly I couldn’t motivate myself to finish it on the same day and as a result a stack of unfinished articles accumulated. That dissatisfied me because I had no results on my website and therefore the writing didn’t fulfill me as it could have. Now I formed the habit of finishing my articles at one go – and voilà, it is not as difficult as suspected and a lot more satisfying when I can publish them directly. As a result, I did build a self-confidence to finish an article I absolutely want to write in a maximum of 2 hours.
The crucial part for me was, when the first resistance appeared to not write to an end, to overcome that phase anyway. Likewise, I did take care to have enough time and not be interrupted by other circumstances.
The second important task is to also document these achievements and thereby make you more conscious. We often forget what accomplished and instead focus on the things that are pending or are still ahead of us. Get your successful projects again in mind by writing them down and thus build self-confidence in your own abilities. You will be surprised what you create in one day, in a week, or in one year!
If writing down is exhausting you already – no problem. The priority is to have the feeling of having achieved something. Alternatively, you can also do that by looking back on your achievements in your mind and celebrate the sense of achievement after every completed goal.
3. Build confidence by identifying and eliminating energy thieves
Energy thieves are, as the name says, things that rob you of your energy to do things and to finish things. So everything that makes your life difficult. Care about and eliminate those things so that you can retrieve your full potential again.
The first step is to become aware of your energy robbers. A good indicator is to listen into yourself in moments where you are frustrated, and see what exactly frustrates you.
This may be a noise, such as a telephone that is constantly ringing. If you can, turn it off as long as you need your full attention. Or there are people who bother you, be it the kids, your partner or your work colleagues. Make sure that you are not disturbed during your focused work.
Often energy thieves are also people with whom you are around, but do not necessarily want. For example, because they constantly demand or bother you, without taking into consideration that you are busy or simply want to relax at that moment.
Here it is demanded to set your boundaries and make clear to them, that you do not want to be disturbed or just need your rest. A “no, not now” can often help. That way you can build your self-confidence also by communicating clearly what you want and what you don’t want.
If you can not drop the short-term energy thieves, then at least make sure that you can arrange with them instead of fighting against them. It is precisely this struggle that you the energy.
The more you get done and the more you are aware of it or rather the more you appreciate your successes and recognize yourself, the more you will build self-confidence. Develop a reward system, bring things to an end and keep book about it and eliminate your energy thieves. This is quite simple. The difficult and responsible part is to actually take care of those things.
With these 3 ways I want to make it easier for you to approach your future projects, to finish them up and to appreciate them. If these 3 ways will turn into flesh and blood for you, you can be sure that you will also build a strong self-confidence in yourself and your abilities .